ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize