After last night, I could never be a politician.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
