So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize