You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?