Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.