tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
