Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper