Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I don't usually arrange sex via text message

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  (216): I don't usually arrange sex via text message http://tfl.nu/akrs
  Replies (8) Good night (1299) Bad night (563)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.

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  (310): I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes. http://tfl.nu/odo7
  Replies (7) Good night (2358) Bad night (633)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..

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  (613): You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon.. http://tfl.nu/gnh9
  Replies (16) Good night (769) Bad night (5226)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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  (850): i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook http://tfl.nu/q3m5
  Replies (39) Good night (5446) Bad night (2491)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that

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  (217): You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that http://tfl.nu/ym20
  Replies (53) Good night (1405) Bad night (2997)
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1805) Bad night (3613)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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  (804): The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be." http://tfl.nu/zz4e
  Replies (7) Good night (784) Bad night (3113)
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (2027) Bad night (2803)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?

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  (734): and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k? http://tfl.nu/xp0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1499) Bad night (577)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

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  (715): So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room. http://tfl.nu/stph
  Replies (4) Good night (1669) Bad night (824)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.

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  (518): It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips. http://tfl.nu/uv9b
  Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (556)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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  (202): Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation. http://tfl.nu/g1cn
  Replies (9) Good night (1128) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (398)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?

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  (314): Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does? http://tfl.nu/d7kp
  Replies (5) Good night (336) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.

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  (479): Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage. http://tfl.nu/89e2
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (367)

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