plz talk dirty to me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening