Pants 0. Shit 1.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
