her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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