We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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