You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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