does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
