it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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