he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
