marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize