you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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