Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
