I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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