I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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