I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
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