Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Operation Purity has been aborted
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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