i just google imaged poop.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
