her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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