No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
