We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
