How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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