I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You can't special order awesome
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
