Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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