I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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