Ambien. No doubt about it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize