just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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