I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
