who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
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I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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