i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
