Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
