Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We're too hungover to prance.
we're so committed to being not committed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
