I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize