It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
soo... how was my night?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
