Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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