Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
