I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
