she takes plan B like it's going out of style
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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