I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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