would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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