ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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