how can u be prego again
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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