I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
