So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
