Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
