also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
