Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
