If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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