I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize