After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
