she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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