I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
