I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
