I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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