I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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