Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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