In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
